I have been sitting here trying to figure out where I went wrong in my life. But I still don't know. I sat here and talked to my baby cousin on here tonight and it's made me think about alot of things. I'm so tired of trying to find that special person that will be there forever. All guys seem to hurt me and yes it kills me every time and it really stinks but what can I do. Nothing really I just let it keep going on. But I have to draw the line some were and I think it's gonna start now I say this, But who knows if it will work or not. Why can't I be happy just once in my life. I was Happy when I was carrying my son. even planned on getting married but then everything went bad. the love of my life walked out on me. and has not even came back to south carolina since. i set and cry all the time because I know that i'm not beautiful and i know that guys only want to use me. and i'm not a young kid that has there whole life in front of them. I make myself sick thinking about it all. anyone that reads this. I'm sure they think i am some kind of crazy person. But I am a good person true and loving I would do anything for the people in my life but to most they don't even care anymore. maybe I should just walk away from it all never get back on here or talk to anyone. Maybe I should Live in my own shell that way I can't get hurt and I don't get my hopes up for anything i know that i am just writting whats comming into my head and everyone will think that i'm not going anywhere with this and more so I'm probley not going anywhere with this but it's my thoughts and feelings and right now i just want to get it all off my heart for a little bit anyway. It don't make things any better but If i bottle it all up for to long i'll crack and i hate when that happens to me.

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